Claudia's Trauma Counselling & wellness centre

Big arguments usually begin with something small but escalate when partners stop listening and start defending. Once emotions rise, the nervous system shifts into survival mode, making connection difficult. Repairing conflict begins with creating safety: soft tones, pausing before reacting, and listening to understand rather than win. Criticism, sarcasm, and withdrawal are patterns that damage trust, while quick repair, apologies, and clarity strengthen connection. Conflict is not the problem—unrepaired conflict is. With emotional maturity, even hard conversations can bring couples closer. Sources: Gottman Institute; Tatkin (2018); APA.

How to stop small arguments from turning into big fights.