Claudia's Trauma Counselling & wellness centre

A calm, honest look at expectations, communication, and what healthy commitment really requires.

Marriage is often romanticised, but a healthy union requires maturity, emotional awareness, and a realistic understanding of what partnership truly means. Marriage is not a rescue mission, and it is not a guarantee that someone will suddenly change once vows are exchanged. It is also not a place where unresolved childhood wounds automatically heal themselves. A marriage is not meant to replace your individuality. You are still responsible for nurturing your own emotional wellbeing, establishing boundaries, and maintaining your identity. When people expect their partner to “complete” them, resentment forms because no partner can carry that emotional weight alone. Marriage is not constant harmony. Disagreements happen, and what matters is how partners repair and reconnect. Blame, silent treatment, scorekeeping, and emotional withdrawal weaken the foundation over time. Healthy couples learn how to communicate honestly, listen fully, and repair quickly.Marriage is not ownership. You do not own each other’s time, emotions, or purpose. Instead, marriage is built on shared respect, trust, mutual support, and a willingness to grow—individually and together.Before saying “I do,” understanding what marriage is not protects the beauty of what marriage can become: a partnership built on accountability, compassion, and intentional effort.Sources:Gottman, J. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.Johnson, S. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice.American Psychological Association. Healthy Marriage & Relationships Resource.

Know what you are getting yourself into before the famous 'I do!' What marriage is NOT.